Ranking my Airbnbs

So I looked through my Airbnb app today and realized that I’ve been renting places on the app for 10 years now. I thought it would be a good time to go through and rank a few of my stays from best to worst. Some of this is based on amenities, some of it is on the neighborhood, and some of this is based on the time I had overall and the circumstances around my stay. Where I can, I’ll link the listing in case you want to stay there too. 

1. Condesa Apartment (Mexico City): As I mentioned in an earlier post, this was a transformative trip for me and maybe the best one I’ve ever had. So it’s fitting that this would be the best Airbnb I’ve ever stayed in. Thanks to an 1 USD to 18 pesos exchange rate, you can get a lot more bang for your buck in CDMX. This coupled with traveling with Meighan and Chris and we ended up having a pretty sweet apartment. It was on the 12th floor (I think) of a highrise apartment building and it overlooked the Chapultepec Park (Bosque de Chapultepec). The views were amazing and a total daily treat. The apartment had retro furniture and two bedrooms with accompanying bathrooms, which was key given the whole flushing toilet paper thing. The bed was super comfortable and each bedroom had its own balcony. The apartment location was supreme as well. Close enough to bars and restaurants that it was walkable but not in the mix. It was on a quiet side street. This place pretty much had it all including a Walmart nearby and a super nice door guy that controlled the entrance into the building. It felt safe, luxurious, and central. 
2. Colonialtown Apartment (Orlando): The only place that I’ve stayed in twice. This was a cottage house behind a larger historic house in a low-key historic district of Orlando. The place itself is simple but dope. A decent sized living room with a small kitchen on the side, the area leads directly to a bedroom in the back and a bathroom off that bedroom.The space was comfortable for 1-2 people and well proportioned, but what made it special was the little local touches and the location. The owner developed a coffee table book called “Found in Colonialtown” that was a recounting of various odd Nextdoor posts in their community forum. They also had a pastry from a local shop, which I didn’t care for but was still cool. And the location was great! I was in Orlando to visit the places that Phil Rosenthal visited when he filmed “Somebody Feed Phil”. The apartment was no more than 10 minutes away from almost all of those places. It had great access to downtown and I even walked to Miller’s Ale House to watch the Bucs playoff game (let’s not talk about the results.)
3. Decatur Square Apartment: This was a lowkey, really cool place. It was small and, by Atlanta standards, out of the way, but it was very close to Decatur Square and a Marta stop. All components of the apartment were laid out nicely. It had a small, but functional kitchen. A decent-sized living room with a working station. With the push of a button a large screen descended from the ceiling and a projector was revealed, allowing you to watch cable or Netflix (I watched college football as this was a big college football weekend). The bedroom was a decent size for bedroom activities and the bed was very comfortable. But what made it for me is that the living room and the bedroom were separated by a half-wall sized terrarium that lights up at a certain time (early evening, I believe) and shuts down around 8 pm.
4. Shotgun House in Irish Channel (NOLA): Overall an outstanding buddy trip with co-host Kevin and one of the more unique stays that I’ve had. As the title suggests, it was a shotgun (styled) home with a large dining room and kitchen. You walk straight through those rooms to get to a long hallway with bedrooms on the right. Simple, old school, and elegant. Shotgun houses are a style that’s showing up less and less throughout the country. In Tampa’s West Tampa and V.M. Ybor neighborhoods, these homes are starting to get bulldozed in favor of more modern homes. So I’m really glad I got to stay in one. It was also a cool, residential neighborhood. The Irish Channel is a quiet area that flanks Magazine Street, which is home to lots of bars and restaurants.   
5. Capitol Hill Basement Apartment (Washington DC): This is one of the first apartments on the list where the negatives gained ground on the positives. Let’s talk about the pluses. The apartment was large, especially for a one-bedroom. This was a family trip and there was plenty of space for the three of us. We didn’t feel cramped as we have on other trips. Harper had plenty of room to spread her shit out, as she often does. Sheriss the same. The decor was one of the nicer ones I’ve seen. Borderline luxury. Beautiful kitchen island with real glassware and recessed lighting. The couches, the coffee tables, all chic. You could tell a lot of thought went into it. They also had some map art which I personally geek out on. The best part was the assortment of books and board games (some inappropriate). We dove full into the board games most evenings, which was nice. Also, the location was good. While being on the edge of the hood, it was close to the attractions and you could walk to a nice coffee shop, which we did each day. In terms of deltas, because it was a basement apartment there was a family (maybe a couple) who was living in the house above us. Each morning, around 6ish, 7ish, it felt as they put on high heels and marched back and forth for seemingly hours. Even if you wanted to block it out and go back to sleep, you couldn’t. I wish I could say that it didn’t impact my stay, but it kinda did. I kept thinking, “I wish they’d find whatever they were looking for and sit the hell down!”
6. Cocoa, FL Apartment: On the back end of this list, you’ll notice a pattern. I went to Brevard County, FL a good bit and had so-so experiences with the Airbnbs. Now, there’s nothing wrong with Brevard (Cocoa, Titusville, Melbourne, et al.), but the airbnb hosts there seem to hold a different standard for what makes a good experience than in say Orlando or New Orleans. This place was somewhat different and I kinda feel bad lumping it in this category. The place was a two-bedroom house right off from Cocoa Village, a downtown historic district with a lot of bars and restaurants. The place was older, but nice. It was spaced-themed, which was interesting and cool and had a big front yard, with yard games. It was enough space for my family and if I remember correctly, it had beach towels for a trip to Cocoa Beach, which we took. Actually, nothing bad to say about this one. 
7. Northside Apartment (Chicago): This apartment was not much to look at (old building, studio apartment, maybe 500 sq. ft.), but it was the gateway to a great Chicago adventure. The place was located on a busy-ish street in the Northside. When I say busy, I mean busy as a thoroughfare, not super active in terms of bars, restaurants, and shops (although there was a car dealership in the next building over). However, a couple of blocks away were tons of cool places to eat and drink. A little further than that was the Magnificent Mile and all its hip grandeur. Airbnbs are expensive in Chicago so I needed a good launch point. I wasn’t worried about it being fancy (it wasn’t), but I wanted it to be safe and close to everything. This place accomplished that. 
8. Venice Apartment (Venice, FL): This will be forever known as the COVID anniversary. In 2020, we needed a quiet, somewhat deserted place to celebrate our anniversary. Venice, FL is pretty damn sleepy. It’s also gorgeous. The beaches felt barely touched and since it was Florida, the bars were open and ready to serve (6 ft apart, of course). Our apartment was about three blocks from said beach which made it a nice launching point for a quiet anniversary weekend. So one thing to note about the time of our anniversary. It’s August 9th, which in the states is the dead of the summer. And not only was it blazing hot in Venice (about an hour south of the Tampa Bay area), the air conditioning unit for our remarkably basic dwelling was in the bedroom. Which is fine, but if you wanted to watch TV, make food, go to the bathroom, you suffered. Basically, the only cool place in the entire apartment was the bed. Not the worst place, but it would have been nice to have a little more coverage. 
9. Cape Canaveral Apartment: 2016 was a rough year for me. One of the hardest of my life. As part of recovery from depression triggered by a painful incident, I started learning to do things for me. Part of this was developing guy trips in which I went to my best friends’ home cities and spent a weekend with them. The first one was to see my college buddy Rob in Cocoa. The trip was a lot of fun, well worth it. My bed at my apartment, however, had bugs. Yep. Not great. And don’t get me wrong, it was not catastrophic or disgusting, but it did give me room for pause. I’ve probably stayed in worse places, but that was not a great look. At least it was a few blocks from the beach. The owner also apologized. 
10. Indian River Carriage House (Cocoa, FL): Last, but not least, I stayed in another place in Cocoa (I really do have a thing for this area). This time by the Indian River. The place was set back far from the street and was called “the Pineapple cottage”. (Right side up pineapple.) It was compact but well laid out. They had beach equipment for us, which I appreciated. It was in an interesting neighborhood that was a little blighted at the front but emptied into the Indian River, which is beautiful. Although there were tons of warn out docks, like most of them, I digress. The second night at the Airbnb after a day of beaching and eating rich foods and drinking beer, I had to uh, how do I put this, I had to poop y’all. However, after the ladies used the bathroom, there were exactly 3 sheets of toilet paper left. Not good. But I figured, no problem. There’s always three or four rolls under the sink. Wrong! There was nothing. Now, I’m getting frustrated. And anxious. But Airbnb hosts are always responsive, especially in the early evening. Uh no. I never heard from the guy and slightly before this became an emergency, I hightailed it to the sketchy convenience store at the end of the block and bought the cheapest toilet paper possible. Because that’s all they had. And I know you’re concerned, but everything was ok. I made it in time. 

The next day, the Airbnb host text me a simple “sorry” and left a roll on my door step.