Lessons Learned from Solo Travel

I parked my Lime scooter and walked into Bricktown Brewery in Oklahoma City and sort mossied my way through the cavernous restaurant to the bar. It was week 2 of the college football season which meant that the bar was filled with the sounds of kickoffs and fans lamenting their teams. 

I’d arrived in OKC a full day in advance of my conference and a full day ahead of my teammates' arrival, so for 24 hours, the city was mine. I was free to get my Anthony Bourdain on, for better or worse. And so I drank several beers, ate wings, talked to strangers, took recommendations from cute bartenders and hit a brewery and a club (not typically my thing) before the uber deposited me back at The Skirvin Hilton for the night. That was one of my first experiences with solo travel, at least in recent years, but it wouldn’t be my last. 

I love traveling with people. I’m actually traveling with my family right now and I will be going to Chicago with John and Janice later this fall. However, there’s something about charting your own path. There’s sort of a freedom to it that’s kinda sweet. I think you see things in a way that you don’t see them when you're with other people and solo trips have great potential for adventure. 

Recently I took a trip to Orlando alone to visit some of the places that Phil Rosenthal went on his visit to the city. I was alone, mostly because no one wanted to go. No one valued the destination the way I did. But the trip was great! I visited several spots that were on the show and they didn’t disappoint. I also had a lot of time to think, which is how I came up with the topic and the insights I’m sharing today. 

There are lessons learned from my weekend in Orlando that while I acquired them over several years of travel in places like OKC, Pittsburgh, Mexico City, and Houston. For whatever reason, they hit me like a ton of bricks here. Below are a few things I’ve learned from solo travel, both for work and pleasure. 

It can be a little lonely

I have to say this right off the bat. Most people travel with people and there’s a great energy when people go places and share great experiences. This means when you are traveling solo, most people are with people. And they are usually having a good time. This can create a sense of loneliness. Right now, I’m sitting in a cafe at a resort with families all around. Aside from a lady sitting adjacent from me, I’m the only one by myself. So it can be little lonely. Now, there’s nothing to say that you can’t inject yourself into conversations, which I know takes heart, but it is possible. People are probably curious as to why you’re alone. You can also ask people about their food because you are looking for recommendations. You have my permission to do so. 

You Control What You Do

And it’s really nice. When you travel with others you have to account for their preferences, agendas, and moods. When you solo travel, you only have to consider that good looking person you see in the mirror. There’s a great freedom in that. Traveling by yourself is the one way to ensure that you’ll get pretty much exactly what you want out of a trip. During my Orlando trip, I decided to go to a place called Domu, a high end ramen spot that happened to have the best wings in Orlando, maybe all of central Florida. It didn’t disappoint. However, that may have been a harder sell if I was with my family. They are neither fans of ramen nor wings. 

You also don’t have to wait for people. My wife is always late. So
I’m always waiting for her. Always. But when you travel on your own, you can be as efficient or slow as you choose. No one is offended. 

Hear Crazy Stories

When you travel solo and you don’t have others talking to you, you can easedrop on other convos. And you occassionally hear some wild shit. While watching the horror show that was the Bucs' loss in the playoffs, I sat next to a lady at Millers Ale House who was in a major dispute with her cousin. Apparently, the cousin called her out publicly for something that she may or may not have done. I don’t know all of the details, but if she does it again the lady at the bar threatened to “burn that bitch’s house down”. That’s all I know. 

Time to think and observe

When you spend some time by yourself, away from the distractions of other people, you just have more time to think about your life. I do some of my best journaling and planning during these trips. I come to better conclusions. 

Of course, you don’t have to hit the road to take time to think. Every Saturday morning, I go to my local coffee shop and sit, journal, write, and listen for about 30-60 minutes. I highly recommend it for anyone. Even going to the park and sitting and watching people can give you the space to consider the nuances of your life. 

You get to be someone else

I think this is the real magic of solo travel. When you aren’t with your friends and family and you’re not carrying their expectations for your behaviors and actions, you’re free to be whoever you want to be. No one’s going to give you shit about being bold or being a bookworm or nerding out on something you’re into, or being a flirt or spending way too much money on amazing food and drinks. 

Now, of course, you can just sort of do those things and be you, unapologetically, but it's so much easier to do this without the watchful eyes of your loved ones. Plus, this is a great time to experiment. Maybe you want to be way into museums and art. Try it out the next time you’re out of town. You may discover a part of you that you want to bring back to normal life. 

You have to generate your own energy

This is definitely a sneaky drawback of solo travel and one of things that drove me to write this piece. When you travel with people, you take on their energy (both positive and negative), but it can be a little harder to get yourself hyped up to have fun when it’s just you. No one is going to be like, “let’s go on this boat tour” or make you laugh about the random person sharing way too much of her business at the bar at Miller’s Ale House. Quite frankly, it can be a little blah if you’re not in the right place (mentally and physically). Assuming that you are open to meeting people, if you’re in a place where there isn’t anyone to meet and the bartender is self-absorbed, you’re time can be impacted and you can come away feeling like, “welll, I had an ok time.”

Start feeling a little crazy

Man, I talk to myself a lot in normal life, but when I’m traveling alone and there’s no one to vibe with, I find myself going deeper into my own head. Not the worst thing, but not super conducive to having a great time.